Preadolescence is a time of terrific change for kids. Physically,
socially and emotionally, the years between 10 and 13 rival the
first three years of children's lives in terms of growth.
Unfortunately, all this upheaval can leave kids less self-assured
and less interested in academics. Studies show that often the
grades of once stellar elementary students can take a dip during
the first year of middle school.
Parents who remember their own preteen years might
be inclined to cut kids some slack. Unfortunately, today's higher
learning standards make a vacation from academics in the middle
years a luxury students can't afford. Everything about school
today - from the courses students must take to the tests they must
pass - is more demanding than ever before in the history of New
York State or the nation. Indeed, the only way students now can
hope to make the mark in high school is to aim high in middle
school.
Encouraging the "habit" of learning
Dr. Randy Cale, psychologist and child specialist,
says the study habits that kids acquire in middle school can
determine - with about 90 percent predictability - the type of
future success they'll have in school.
"If you haven't helped instill these habits, then
the tendency is to over-parent - e.g., by nagging, constantly
reminding them of their responsibilities, even doing work for them
- and things tend to fall apart as a result," says Cale.
Making homework magic happen
Since middle school is a time when children crave
more independence, Cale suggests that families create policies
that shift the responsibility for getting work done to kids
themselves. Here's how to go about it:
-
Look at
what's happening now. Are your children getting down to studying
most of the time with no more than a little gentle persuasion,
or does the very mention of homework produce a major battle
scene? Says Cale, if you are putting forth more effort than your
children for their success, then things are not as they should
be.
-
Set up clear
rules. Cale advocates a year-round "work first/play later"
approach that can be applied not only to homework, but household
chores, music lessons, etc. Ideally, this policy should be put
in place as early as preschool, says Cale. However, it's never
too late to institute it. Start by talking with your children
about your expectations and what the consequences will be if
they don't meet them. Cale suggests an icebreaker, such as "We
have some good news and news you might not like as well. The
good news - Dad and I are no longer going to nag you about
getting your work done. However, it is now up to you to get your
work done before you move on to anything else. We will not take
you to soccer practice, there won't be any computer time, you
can't talk on the phone, etc., until you have finished all of
your homework."
-
Follow
through with consequences. Kids may understand that if they
don't take the time to study, they may fail a test. However, few
middle schoolers have the maturity to know how their actions now
might hurt them once they begin applying for college in five
years. Cale recommends an environment that allows for choice,
but choice that comes with immediate consequences (i.e., you can
do your homework or you can flop in front of the TV; but if you
choose the latter, you will come home tomorrow to find the
television cable box disconnected).
-
What you
model is key. If you put off projects, take extended coffee
breaks or procrastinate in other ways, your kids will notice.
Practice what you preach.
-
Enjoy the
free time you've created. Once this approach is up and running,
it allows families to focus on more positive pursuits. If you
don't have to spend the entire evening fighting over what needs
to get done, you may just have time to enjoy a good book, take a
walk or bike ride together.
GETTING "ORGANIZED" FOR SCHOOL SUCCESS
Here are some ways parents can help their children
develop good organization and time management skills, which are
often critical to school success:
-
Make sure
your children have assignment notebooks. Talk with them about
how to use them and why. Suggest they open the notebook at the
beginning of each class and leave it on their desk until they
have written down the daily homework assignment. Encourage them
to review their assignments before leaving school to make sure
they bring home the appropriate books and materials.
-
Have your
children use folders or binders to keep track of paperwork for
each subject.
-
Help your
children decide on a regular location to do homework; and
together, agree upon a set time for them to do assignments.
-
Have your
children keep all their supplies for completing assignments in
one place, and make it their responsibility to let you know if
they are running low.
-
Consider a
weekly family planning meeting to help everyone get organized
for the coming week.
Help them develop a more global perspective.
For children to see the applicability of what they
are learning, they have to be able to look beyond themselves at
the larger world. You can help by subscribing to local newspapers,
setting news sites as the home page on the family computer and
talking with your children about relevant current events. You can
also watch movies together that deal with current events or other
historical topics (the local library is a great resource for these
types of recorded materials).
Expose them to future career possibilities.
Take them to work with you and let them learn
about the basic skills you draw on when you do your job. If, for
example, they express an interest in writing, talk with them about
the vast number of ways that people can use their writing both for
pleasure (poetry, short stories) as well as profit (journalism,
editing, writing books for children, etc.) At this U.S. Bureau of
Labor Statistics web page, kids can explore careers that relate to
their various school subjects: