4Bullying
in an electronic age Parent Spot for Parents of Middle School Students
It used to be that when they were at
home, kids were safe from the school bully. Yet, with younger and
often less savvy children using communication technologies, that
level of security has all but disappeared. Along with the good,
all this access to technology has also created brand new ways for
kids to be mean to each other whenever they want. Here are just a
few examples:
Instant messaging
(IM) lets groups of kids have real-time online conversations.
It also gives "buddies"-friends who know a person's screen name
and password-the ability to pose as others when sending messages
that insult and defame their victims.
E-mail can be a
quick form of communication. It can also be a virtually
anonymous way to send hurtful comments to another person. To
hide their identity, kids will use another person's screen name
or a computer at a friend's home to fire off insults. A belief
that what they write won't be attributed to them may encourage
kids to be excessively cruel.
Three-way calling
from a telephone, particularly popular among middle school age
girls, provides a way for kids to talk as a group when they're
not together. But it can also become a bullying tool when a
third person is secretly put on the line and an unknowing victim
is encouraged to say embarrassing things about him or her.
Protecting
your children from cyber-bullying
Because of its remote
nature, cyber-bullying tends toward the spreading of rumors and
gossip rather than physical intimidation. Emotionally, the middle
school years are a very vulnerable time in children's
lives-comments that may seem insignificant to us as adults can be
devastating to kids.
In most cases,
electronic bullying takes place outside of school, frequently from
home phones or computers. For this reason, families play a vital
role in helping prevent it from affecting their kids. Here are
some suggestions:
Educate yourself about
the technologies your children are using. It can be intimidating
when your kids know more than you do about technology, and, as a
result, it can be more difficult to provide adequate
supervision. At
www.getnetwise.org and
http://www.childrenspartnership.org/prnt/prnt.html, parents
can learn more about the Internet and online safety.
Talk with your
children about the possible threat of online and electronic
bullying. Whether you have reason to believe that they may take
part in it or become victim to it, it is important to let them
know that you are aware it happens and is an activity that you
do not approve of.
Place your computer(s)
in a common space where you can keep an eye on it, not your
children's bedrooms or another out of way space in your home. In
many families, children are only allowed to use the computer
when parents are at home and are required to ask before using
the computer, both for homework and pleasure. This can help you
be more aware of when they are online and what they are doing.
Create a family
computer use policy.
Watch you children's
reactions when e-mail or Instant Messaging comes across their
screens and ask them about the
contents.
If they have access to
a cell phone, clearly lay out how it may be used. If it is for
emergency use, insist that the phone number not be given to
anyone other than family members. Although electronic methods of
tracking and blocking unwanted telephone calls are commonplace,
cell phone calls are much more difficult to screen and trace.
Do not respond to
electronic messages from people you don't know or to a bullying
message.
Limit who has your
e-mail address or screen name.
Report any form of
electronic harassment to parents, school officials or the
police.
Schools
working to stem the tide of bullying
In 2000, New York Governor George Pataki signed
into law Safe Schools Against Violence in Education Act (Project
SAVE) in response to the rise of violence, including bullying, in
schools. Not only does this law require schools to include lessons
on good character from kindergarten through grade 12, schools now
are required to have in place clear policies on how bullying in
schools will be handled. (If your child is being bullied, please
contact the Middle School.)
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